I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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