So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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