i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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