drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
