um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Verdict: uncircumcised.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
