he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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