so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
