Dude my mom stole all your condoms
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
we're making bets on your personal life
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
did i just pee glitter
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
