I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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