SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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