Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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