I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Randomize
