I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
there was a trapeze. enough said
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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