Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
