Me too!
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
