I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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