so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
