We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
