i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
