Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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