Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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