: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
