No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
it's like iHOP with fire
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
