i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Randomize
