How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
