hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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