Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
