Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
