I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
