you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I have peed in a lot of sinks
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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