Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
