evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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