Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Randomize
