I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
