I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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