I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
