My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
