I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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