I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
