at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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