i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
he laminated a picture of his dick.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
