Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
