new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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