My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
