She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
