Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
