when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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