She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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