I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
