Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
